Need help courting a girl from London...please help

nice try, Three Eyed Crow

If she's from London, she's probably met too many curry niggers and was just being nice so you don't rape her.

It would be best to leave her alone.

But if you're really committed, tell her about your love for football. This is foolproof since anyone who sounds English loves and knows about all things football. Even if she tries to switch the topic, keep talking about football and nothing else. She's just shy and doesn't want to seem like a tomboy in public. Try to relate to her and speak in a faux cockney. Watch Guy Ritchie films for reference. Call her a slag. That's a friendly term young men use with women. It's the female version of 'bro'. And ask her about her fanny. As a people, we're culturally very close to our grandparents and she probably misses her grandmother, or 'fanny', very much.

If all else fails, shit in her handbag.

LiquidFuze wrote:I made this topic because I know a bunch of you guys support Chelsea and thus must live in London or near London.

it was kind of funny until this part. this part is very good.

^I admit that part was a joke, but everything else is true.

@Hazy, when I looked at that big paragraph, I really thought you offered serious advice. Disappointed. Also I know what a slag is, you slag. I actually thought about talking to her about football, you never know she might be the most staunch Arsenal fan or something. I doubt it, she seemed like a girly girl. Adel-la.

Hazy wrote:If she's from London, she's probably met too many curry niggers and was just being nice so you don't rape her.

It would be best to leave her alone.

But if you're really committed, tell her about your love for football. This is foolproof since anyone who sounds English loves and knows about all things football. Even if she tries to switch the topic, keep talking about football and nothing else. She's just shy and doesn't want to seem like a tomboy in public. Try to relate to her and speak in a faux cockney. Watch Guy Ritchie films for reference. Call her a slag. That's a friendly term young men use with women. It's the female version of 'bro'. And ask her about her fanny. As a people, we're culturally very close to our grandparents and she probably misses her grandmother, or 'fanny', very much.

If all else fails, shit in her handbag.

LOL at the first sentence

LiquidFuze wrote:I've never had a British friend in real life so I was wondering just...generally, what Brit women are like, if there are any disclaimers and such. Thanks.

Shallow, annoying, materialistic...well English women anyways. London girls aren't nearly as bad as the ones from up north though. Most interesting girl I met in London was an American. Says it all really.

Fuck the English and while I'm at it...Fuck the French too.

^harsh response damn, what did English women do to you??

btw I'm watching Before Midnight now, actually really like it so far. Definitely has a darker, more practical feel to it as opposed to the largely innocent tone of the first two (well, at least the first one). Loved that story about the nurse that would talk to people who came out of comas. First thing guys check is their penis, haha genius.

actually, it's almost slightly depressing

there's this one quote Ethan has so far he says "the time between when you leave your parents' house and have your own kids is the only time you have freedom" or something like that

LiquidFuze wrote:^harsh response damn, what did English women do to you??

nothing, i think thats the issue

LiquidFuze wrote:^harsh response damn, what did English women do to you??

btw I'm watching Before Midnight now, actually really like it so far. Definitely has a darker, more practical feel to it as opposed to the largely innocent tone of the first two (well, at least the first one). Loved that story about the nurse that would talk to people who came out of comas. First thing guys check is their penis, haha genius.

actually, it's almost slightly depressing

there's this one quote Ethan has so far he says "the time between when you leave your parents' house and have your own kids is the only time you have freedom" or something like that

Yeah great film. Best of the year so far. Doubt any will be better. Sad how bad Ethan Hawkes gent must be getting him all these awful roles though.

Darko Iulo wrote:

LiquidFuze wrote:I've never had a British friend in real life so I was wondering just...generally, what Brit women are like, if there are any disclaimers and such. Thanks.

Shallow, annoying, materialistic...well English women anyways. London girls aren't nearly as bad as the ones from up north though. Most interesting girl I met in London was an American. Says it all really.

Fuck the English and while I'm at it...Fuck the French too.

Eh! Fuck you, buddy!

No but none of my best girlfriends were English so that says a lot.

Also fuck the French. Such horrible people. Their language is aight tho.

From my limited interactions with people who've grown up in France, I don't like them either. They're really patriotic, in sort of an arrogant kind of way.

Man, people really don't like the French. Well, except teenage girls who want to live in PARIEEEE and get plowed by a rich-Euro gent. I like Coldplay though.