Re: The Sephi Classics Thread

[tuna che culo]

i see it all the time

[Mafewww]

i only call him selphi

[Mafewww]

inb4 he calls me obsessed

Let's start this off with the post You know, the post where it all began! (I just googled "Nard Dog Fifa Gamefaqs Pirlo" And it sent me directly to this.

course you did

[Hazy]

dayum bruh

[tuna che culo]

those are filtered results

search it on bing or something and see what happens

[LiquidFuze]

^you would use bing fkn aussie cunt

[Stam]

Bing is cool leave it out

[TheSappy1314]

bing is better. I'm just afraid of change. Which is everyone's argument actually.

[LiquidFuze]

Is it better for porn?

[TheSappy1314]

why don't you just go get laid instead of spending all day watching porn.
sex is a lot better when you're there having it

[LiquidFuze]

I cant just go out and buy sex at the store like I would buy a 12 pack of Canada Dry mate. It would take months of foreplay and a development of context before I would consider having sex with a girl.

[tuna che culo]

ive heard bing is better for porn but i havent tried it because just like all of you ive been hypnotised by google and even though i see them filtering results like that, i see they have a fucking list of my interests and shit, they pretty much know the worst things about me and have already been caught handing over such information to the government, but i still use it

i still use google

just like you morons

[TheSappy1314]

God Damnit Liquid. I'm going to give you sex advice. First and last time.

1. Go out to the liquer store and buy two things: A bottle of Jameson, and a bottle of Pink Moscato.
2. Grab that 12 pack of Canada Dry and pour yourself some Ginger Ale and Jameson. Drink a whole can's worth of Canada Dry (that's like 2 tumblers worth). If you don't feel the drive to go out and do something stupid yet, drink a second can's worth.
3. Go out to any one of a lounge/club/party/campus-grounds/facebook. And ask any female acquaintance if she feels like going for a walk
4. When you're like 30 minutes in, decide to go into town and go grab dinner
***If you're not attracted to her, I'd suggest backing out, but you're a the point of no return here.
5. Bring up the bottle of Pink Moscato you have at home, Bitches love Pink Moscato (idk why, but this is 100% true). Ask her if she wants to come over and drink.
***Don't go through with this if you're still feeling the Jameson, because Wine would make you throw up, just wait it out and bring it up later.
6. Turn on the TV so you don't seem too interested, and pour yourselves a glass.
7. Wait until she stars cuddling up to you and make some kind of move (don't start fingering her butthole, I can imagine you're that kind of person).
8. Either one of two hings will happen if it all goes according to plan
a) You two makeout all night and snuggle up all night
b) You two makeout and fuck all night

If it all works, i'll post my paypal later for tips.

[Stam]

That's all fine if you aren't an ugly bengali cunt

[Darko Iulo]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20Naked%20Man&defid=3504764

Works 2 out of 3 times

[LiquidFuze]

@Selphi, I appreciate the advice and intent, but it seems like you're suggesting I get incredibly drunk, way beyond my normal threshold (roughly 4-5 shots of vodka), drive a car in that state to the club, and then bring a girl to my parents' house and then rape her??

@Stam, wow, what a dick. I thought we were pals.

@Nard, wtf. No I'm not doing that. What normal person would try that? If you met your wife that way, I'm glad it worked out. But I think she'd be more likely to call the police than sleep with me.

Don't worry about it anyway, sex isn't some 'goal' for me. I know that's hard to comprehend if you're not part of my culture, but usually you don't have to do much work and you end up meeting potential brides/grooms in your twenties etc arranged marriage. I don't think that's for me either, but it's part of why it's sort of hard for me to meet chicks. It's not like I've never tried, and quite a few girls even expressed (presumably romantic) interest in me in college, but I just didn't know what to do and fucked it up.

[Hazy]

1. Find a girl
2. Shit in her handbag

That simple.

[Hazy]

That's all fine if you aren't an ugly bengali cunt

[TheSappy1314]

I see Hazy is really getting into Basketball now that the BPL season isn't to his standards

[TheSappy1314]

@Selphi, I appreciate the advice and intent, but it seems like you're suggesting I get incredibly drunk, way beyond my normal threshold (roughly 4-5 shots of vodka), drive a car in that state to the club, and then bring a girl to my parents' house and then rape her??

It's not rape, man.

The Jameson is to loosen you up
The Pink Moscato is to help her get comfortable and show her that you know how to treat her right
The kissing comes before the touching
the touching comes before the sex
She starts both, not you

If anything, she's raping you. Because there's a 90% chance she'd overpower you

[Stam]

I'm sorry liquidfuze

[Hazy]

I see Hazy is really getting into Basketball now that the BPL season isn't to his standards

I've been a plastic Lakers fan since 1998.

[Gunner]

I'll fucking come over to new york, rape your mum then shit on her face while you watch you dumb cunt, you're not tough at all, hide behind your keyboard you prick.

go back to your twitter followers, I swear ill fucking break your skinny neck you cunt.

fucking kid

Unreal post. Looking back on this thread, it has some quality posts.

[Gunner]

Looks like I have a whole fan base.

You couldn't hit me if you tried, cunt. I'd leave you in stitches, pissing from your mouth before you could lay a finger on me. You best mind your own business and just ignore me if you really find me that annoying, because your level of crankage exceeds any healthy amount.

  

[Hazy]

I'll fucking come over to new york, rape your mum then shit on her face while you watch you dumb cunt, you're not tough at all, hide behind your keyboard you prick.

go back to your twitter followers, I swear ill fucking break your skinny neck you cunt.

fucking kid

Unreal post. Looking back on this thread, it has some quality posts.

I love everything about this so much.

[Hazy]

Just checked the chat archives and omg sephi's meltdown hahahahaha

[mccalledin]

Just checked the chat archives and omg sephi's meltdown hahahahaha

lel top stuff.

Lorraine Kelly though? Really Deese? Lorraine Fucking Kelly?

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